Some of my fave bits from him:
I thought I knew who I was marrying thirteen years ago, but after three kids and hormone changes, I do not know who I am waking up with from one day to the next. It’s like spinning a big mood wheel, you know, *mimes spinning big wheel*. "Come on happy, happy, happy, sad, happy, sad, horny, horny, horny, aw, bitchy, shit! I don’t want bitchy!" Horny’s the tiniest little slit on the wheel. It’s like the Italy trip on Wheel of Fortune. Nobody ever goes to Italy.
They always tell you, take a good, long look at your wife’s mother, cause that’s what she’s gonna look like, that’s what she’s gonna act like. And if that’s the case, I am fucked!
You know, the reason you get married to somebody's because you have fun with that person. "You're fun, I like you, we're fun, we have fun together, let's get married." You get married, she gets pregnant, and fun starts packing its shit. "Where you going fun?" "Nowhere, just kinda getting some stuff together." Then one day, fun just goes, "Fuck it!" and takes off. "Come back fun!" He's like, "Fuck you, married guy!" "Shit!"
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People I Watch My fiancee!!
Clubs I Founded: Come join us if you love Shelties!!
Clubs I Belong ToClubs Pending Acceptance:My WONDERFUL Watchers!!!Thank you to the awesome people who watch me!!!!